Kingdom Journal

“Smile though your heart is aching,
smile even though it’s breaking
when there are clouds in the sky
you’ll get by,
if you smile through your fear and sorrow,
smile and maybe tomorrow,
you’ll see the sun come shining through
for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
hide every trace of sadness 
although a tear
may be ever so near
that’s the time you must keep on trying. 
Smile! What’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worth while
if you’ll just smile.”
                         -Smile by Charlie Chaplin

I have had my red Ibanez bass for years now. It is the only one most people see in public and it goes with me almost everywhere.

I hear it’s tradition for people to name things. They name their cars or tools or instruments. I’ve never really been one of those people, but a while back it hit me that ol’ Red could use a name. 

I named it Chaplin.

This may be meaningless to you all, but the situation that made me lean towards this name is one that I feel is fitting to share right now. Dear friends, if your heart is hurting, for whatever reason (and I know many of you are), I dedicate this blog to you:

I was genuinely sad. The world has a funny way of making you feel sad, doesn’t it? I had just gotten some horrible news and it was the “straw that broke the camel’s back”, if you will.

See, I had gone through weeks of hardship (this wasn’t anything too foreign. Opposition sometimes comes if you’re actually living your life. I guess that’s why they call them “growing pains”… Not everything runs smoothly 100% and sometimes you will genuinely have problems).

However, in my entire life (as a believer), I had never felt so wrong or worthless. You ever have those times?

I was the “wrong” person. The “wrong” gender. The “wrong” age. The “wrong” skin colour. Of the “wrong” family. Of the “wrong” social class. I had made the “wrong” decisions. Had the “wrong” personality. Of the “wrong” education level. The “wrong” skillset. The “wrong” talents. I was friends with the “wrong” people. I had the “wrong” set of moral standards. The “wrong” weight. The “wrong” sense of fashion. The “wrong” height. The “wrong” attitude. The “wrong” past. I was the “wrong” person.

And then the one thing in my life that everyone decided would make me “right” had literally been destroyed in front of me.

What it was doesn’t really matter. What I was facing really doesn’t either, because if you can relate to any of the things I’ve said above, this story will still bless your heart. And I hope that maybe it will help you to find strength.

My heart held a certain feeling of brokenness. It’s funny how the older you get, the more tender your heart can become. I think it’s because you care more. Anyway, I had no one to share this with. I felt completely alone. No one had problems like mine, I thought. No one could relate to me. No one would want to…

And as I sat down by my amp, I held my bass and just played. Tears streamed and all I could do was breathe. And I was reminded of a song from my childhood. And just like that, I realized that nothing ever makes life too painful to keep on going. Nothing is ever too sad and you’re never too “wrong” to heal.

The Lord began to remind me that just like that thing I’d held with such importance had gone so quickly, just as my life had changed and just how fleeting things and relationships and ideas could be, so was this sorrow.

“For his anger endureth but a moment; in His favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” -Psalm 3O.5

No situation is permanent. Be thankful for that. 

People may have opinions of you. Some of them may be horrible, some of them may even be right and apply to things you need to change. Some may say hurtful things to you or treat you like you don’t matter… but it’s your decision if you’re going to let that opinion wound you. 

My bass is a tool for worship. With it I praise the Lord, I find victory, joy and strength… even if the world around me makes no sense. Even if my heart aches for a moment, even if I face the sorrow or burdens of other people. I find a reason to worship the Lord regardless, in doing so, I find my sorrow disappears and my heart is filled with hope.

So I gave up on crying. Instead I decided to look at how wonderful my life is. How to count the blessings, how to laugh at insecurities and how to light up my room with a smile even if I walked through the darkest valley I’d know. 

If I can, you can.

I hope you smile. Not at me and not at the words here, but hopefully at yourself. At your current situation.

The joy of the Lord is your strength. So smile. Laugh, dance, sing, praise the Lord however you can. And stop letting your mind drift to the places where everything is so wrong. 

For every moment where something goes wrong, God is there.
With grace to forgive your mistakes.
With Love to cover your hurt.
With hope to light your way…
and joy to be your strength.

“A day without laughter is a day wasted” -Charlie Chaplin

So find out how worth-while your life is.  

Let the Revival Begin.