The Third.
Hello!
Here is the final part of my 2011 in review. Have a nice day. That is all. -S
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August________________________
Lone Pair. A pair of worn shoes found in front of the Post Office.
The Line. The road
August was a pretty exciting time, it was full of new experiences and opportunities for everyone around. A lot of things changed, a lot of people changed their minds, habits and states of life. This was the first time I realized that perhaps I was becoming a different person.
September________________________
Happy Hour. Drinks at the drive-in.
Black/White. Jam and I happened to dress in the same colours and cuts that day.
September was kind of a blur of a month. I know there was a lot to do with music and interviews and playing shows and whatnot but it all went so quickly. Life was very different from one week to the next. It was very “black and white” in that sense. The good was good, the bad was bad but I was (we all were, I think) thankful for life just the same, if not more so than ever before.
October________________________
White Queen. Halloween night.
October was full of fun, new experiences. I got to enjoy a bit of time working on a solo project, singing and playing at a few different places. I got a few really cool writing opportunities and the publishers gave me my first real evaluation and in turn promoted me. The band had a bit of a rough month and the slow fade into a hiatus began to form. Relationships in all areas of life kept changing, people were lost and there were a lot of semi-hostile, dramatic moments to be had by all! (…Yay?)
In the end, everyone could agree that life was changing and it was everyone’s responsibility to maintain good manners and (more importantly) compassion even if it got uncomfortable. People took off their masks and revealed their true intentions. Some personalities did clash, but it all worked out for good. I’m really happy about that, actually. It was a huge step of growth for everyone as a whole and the lessons were invaluable!
November________________________
Walker. A peaceful walk with a friend on Thanksgiving Eve.
I enjoyed this month so much. It was super busy with work and opportunities and I was really pushed to my limits with skill, knowledge, wisdom and endurance. I enjoyed the challenge and it kept my mind on greater things. Though I was pretty much emotionally checked out during this time, it was still good because at the end when the work-focused thoughts stopped, I was able to enjoy time with Loved ones that much more. This Thanksgiving was a real delight and the days surrounding it on either side were pretty perfect. Lovely month.
________________________December
The Drop. On the bypass bridge overlooking the dam.
My boots. Enjoying Winter and new boots.
Tourist. Finding the adventure in things already seen.
In December everything of the past year had kind of caught up with me. I was tired, I was jaded, hurt and a complete mess. I felt as though I could see the world from above and that I was soon to hit the ground at an alarming rate, the likes of which would destroy all in its path.
This was harder than living through the crime I was victim of and worse than losing Loved ones because it all hit at the same time. I realized I had not properly dealt with anything emotionally. It was only amplified by being very much in the public eye and having to be vulnerable with so many people without actually opening myself up. I knew I was a wreck, it was actually kind of funny to me that some acted as though they had made the “shocking discovery” that I was screwing everything up.
I am sure people still hate me from that month. I know I was strange, cold, distant and probably really awkward. I do apologize (especially if you were one of those people), but grieving is something I didn’t do well this year at all!
Overall, I was able to find freedom and release. God put some really great people in my path and I’ve been able to see life with a fresh pair of eyes… that, of all things, has been the main purpose of this journal I keep. My desire has been to see it differently and now, I truly do.
What I learned ________________________
I don’t want to take life for granted. I don’t want to take people for granted. Even ugly moments can be beautiful. Even attractive moments can end badly. Nothing is too big to dream. Nothing is too small to try. No one is better than anyone. Running away only makes it all so much worse. A life of praise is not only defined by the good moments or only defined by the bad moments. Never compromise your beliefs. You are you so be you and be the best you that you could possibly be. Never settle for less than the high standards that God has set for you as His child. Never be afraid to cry out to God. Above all I’ve learned that with God, all things really are possible and that I don’t have to be so screwed up all of the time haha.
My heart is in a new state completely and I look forward to what my feet may find and where they may carry me in 2012. To ask where I am going is a million dollar question and with any goodness, it will certainly be forward.
Let’s go!
